The Game
by the .303 bookworm
Summary: A mega crossover, with characters from various fictional universes convening for a very special Game. Try to Work ouyt the identities of all the different characters!


F Fic no3 – "The Game"

Hope you like this short "Prelude" style fic, though it's more of a writing exercise and a mental prelude to a few future ideas I have buzzing around.

There'll be a prize ;) for the person who correctly identifies all the characters and their sources.

The When: The Once, The now and the immediate Future.

The Where: A parasitic universe, and within it a small, hastily made planet.

The What: A very unusual Game.

"I'll take that bet, and raise it with 40 billion sacrificed, sentient souls, as well as a fully armoured moon-cannon" Said He.

He was an unusual sight, even among the gods, demi-beings, anthromorphic personifications, immortals, aliens, "Monsters", humanoids , innocuous little fat humans and sentient furniture that played and were The Game.

Viewed On the 3d dimension he was a rotten, frozen, tube-filled corpse.

On the 4th Dimension he could be "Seen" as: A pale skinned, halo crowned man. A black skinned, bearded scholar. A brown skinned man Ruling from atop his throne or in the battlefield. A youthful lightly bearded king with a sword & crown. A mighty machine-god. Thousands of nature-priests, wizards, Wise-men & shamans. A leader conquering the Galaxy with 19 of his children at his side. A mighty warrior clad in golden armour and wielding a flaming sword against a fallen son.

From the 5th dimension he was at once - A hulking tyrant god, A dead chain-shackled corpse, and a beacon of power, light and security.

On the 6th he was But a glimpse of a bobbing light, a star of hope –or finality.

"Too rich for my nano-blood, are you sure a few black, white or temporal sink holes won't equal it?" Wheedled a thin humanoid.

"No, they're worthless these days since your descendants mass-produced the damn things all over the universes after you invented the damn things" Said He.

"Bah, I've told you already I invented the power-tap for the holes, not the damn things, I even ended stuck inside one after I tried reversing it's polarity".

"How can you reverse the polarity of a black hole?"

"Now you can't, after my bastard partner re-wrote a few fundamental laws of physics to get me stuck in it, that scheming son of a volt".

He: "Well, it's always interesting to learn a new law of physics that existed before it was rewritten by ancient beings, now what about you, my dear Monsieur Mastiptwitk?"

A short, portly humanoid in purple and green clothing, clad in a top hat: "I told you before, you 3d oaf, it's Mr Kylp-" POOF!

"Well, that's him out of the game" Said He with what looked suspiciously like a wolfish grin, "What about you, HE?"

"I'll match your bet with 100 cubic meters of pure chi-essence, and 3 bottled universes inside these 3 beautifully made bottles" Said HE, a being apparently made entirely out of pure white light (In his current form).

"Would you turn that down" He said, "You look like a damn galactic lighthouse, and I always confuse you and El".

After a quick shift by said miniature lighthouse, He commented again: "And please, don't go 'Old monk' on us again, you'll annoy The Sweeper, then we'll have to clean up the timelines ourselves again".

"Bah!" Said (HE), before turning to the tall, monochromatically dressed skeleton next to him.

"Well, what about you, my dear pumpkin King?"

"What's that?" Said a pumpkin headed figure cleaning up a mess of demons leaking out of one of the prizes.

"Not you, you're just the janitor, and you're no king, now as I was saying Jack-"

"What do you want!" Shouted a black eyed, pupil-less, overgrown, bright green, Scythe wielding, Jack-rabbit.

"Not you either, you overgrown grass-hump, spawn of a tube, and you're out of the game anyway" shouted HE.

"Well" (Said the focus of these multiple calls with a skeletal grin) "I'm afraid that I must leave thee, Sally's waiting and one of the newer nightmares has been overgrowing and spreading all over the place". ("Tell me about it", muttered the pumpkin headed janitor in his stained blue-white clothing).

"I raise the stakes, with the 3 Ancient Walkers, 2 Chaos empowered gems and 1 master ring" Said a massive Mammoth dressed in a suit holding a diamond-headed cane.

"Your turn now, oh ender of all things, The last and only Truth, the dark that came before night-"

"YES, YES I'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. I'LL RAISE YOU A BRICK- OR IS IT A WEIR? DAM? HORSE? AQUEDUCT? DAMN..." (Said the next player in line, the second best poker-face at the game whilst in the midst of polishing his scythe in a voice like a tomb-door closing)

"No, no you've got it all mixed up again" Said his game-partner, a pale faced attractive "Girl", "I'll take care of this round of games for you till the next big bang, ok?" "ALL RIGHT, AT LEAST IT ISN'T CHESS", Said he, in a voice like grave-stones falling.

"Well, I'll raise the bet with 2 of my companion's hourglasses and my 2 Goldfish".

"I take this, and match it with a 3u (Universe) bomb, a universal messiah and my personal asteroid fortress" Said the next player, a human cyborg with an ear of steel & wires.

"On-ly Thr-ee Uni-ver-ses for a sin-gle Usage?" Intoned the next player, a large gold coloured robot-cyborg resembling a large pepper-pot.

"How In-ferior, I raise a DAR-DIS"

"Unacceptable, those don't even exist anymore; this is a clear-cut level 3 continuity violation" Burst a pink coloured humanoid without any facial features, dressed in formal clothing whilst it continued typing on a old fashioned typewriter.

"You know the game rules, said a tall blue skinned being with a bush of white hair "You're disqualified from the game".

"Th-is is In-con-ceevable! I am Su-perior, you will be E-"

"Eliminated or somesuch, we've heard you" said the tall blue being while simultaneously sending the pepper pot cyborg away with a fingersnap.

"Hey, that's my schtick, stop copying me you miserable old-"

"Oh shut up till it's your turn, O or J or whatever your name is" Said the tall blue being contempously in response, "As for me, I'll match the stakes with a CCU- a reality warping device capable of altering anything to it's wielders desire within a solar system's radius", He said while producing a small glowing cube.

"Phah" (Said the letter-man), "I'll match you with this formula for a terraforming device capable of making a short-lived planet out of a star, This (Red) ripped Captain's shirt (Absconded by a cousin of mine from a Terran captain) and one very annoying (If logical) Vulcan".

"aCepTabLe" Said what appeared to be a man, dressed in a formal gray-navy blue business suit.

He straightened his dark tie then opened his black briefcase revealing a pudgy white creature with 4 claw-arms and a gaping jaw on its underbelly – "I sHalL mAtCh tHe StAkes wIth miLLions oF THiS- a SelF SuStaiNing ParAsitIc BiO weApoN, cA-pable of over-r-idiNng a vIctiMs pHysicAl ConT-rol viA the sPIne and CereBruluM. Annd also thE services of tHe being you see here, HEV SuiT iNcl-Uded".

"Pathetic, we shall increase this wager-"(Gargled a hideous, tentacled lump of bio-matter via it's spoke-piece, a svelte AI shaped like a purple coloured female human). "With this" – (It stretched out a pseupod holing a small white life-form resembling a cone shaped balloon with small tentacle like feelers on it's front) "A rapidly reproducing life-form, capable of surviving in almost any environment and entering a hybernative state for millions of years, and of controlling anything it contacts possessing sufficient Bio-mass via over-riding the target's neural impulses".

"Most Impressive" Screeched the next being in line, a large Dragon like being with metallic armour plates fused to it in chunks.

It then extended a claw containing a containment unit within floated a small creature with 4 "Fangs" and a main body within with Purplish Ganglia could be seen.

"However here is a creature that reproduces almost as quickly, can absorb and excrete any form of bio-electric energy From life-force to heat to electricity etc', evolves constantly into larger and more deadly forms, is extremely adaptable and capable of adapting even to chaotic radiation, And it's all but impossible to destroy even in it's weakest form via anything other than cold or massive amounts of energy"

"SQUEEE!" (went the being).

"Oh, and it also has a fearsome battle cry" screeched the Space-dragon.

"A fearsome being, and indeed it should be for it was we created The Ultimate Hunter originally, oh thieving spawn of a shrunken brain lizard" - This was said by the next beings in line, 3 aliens shaped like large birds.

"But here we have the being The Hunter was designed to contain, It's natural foe – a creature even more dangerous than it, capable of truly exponential Growth rates via asexual cellular reproduction, hourly level adaptation, and the ability to assimilate anything (Such as Cyborgs, Your Hatch-kin and gravity utilizing war-machines) containing bio-mass And taking any traits from the target's DNA or RNA strands, and any information, skills or knowledge the target might have. And it can mix and match traits from multiple targets and improve them.

And if it isn't eaten upon destruction of the host form it assimilates the attacker then reforms".

"And it's impossible to harm with conventional weaponry, barring massive releases of energy".

"That's even better than a solar system sized hostile hegemonizing Swarm" Said the next being, a drone speaking for the massive ship Mind next in line, "And I don't see what a poor little ex-culture ship like me has to offer that could match it, other than the technology to travel the pan-universal energy grid at will between universes as well as the ability to tap into it".

"Hope that's enough, though it should be, as sure as my name is not Black (Or white) Zone" finished the Mind in a smug tone.

"High (Cough) stakes indeed" Wheezed the slumped, cloaked, constantly hacking god next in line.

After his fit of coughing subsided the god croaked – "Alas, in my current state, lacking in puissance as I (now) am, all I can offer to match the stakes besides my previous winnings" (And considerable winnings they were mused a number of losing players ) "Is this sword which shall ensure the unstoppable life of it's bearer, and shall increase his power even if he should find himself temporarily deceased (Hacking phlegm wracked cough) – immortality and invinceability in one" He nudged the sword forth.

"Pfah- that is a foul, cursed thing" Said the Tall old man next in line, as he stood forth, resplendent with his flowing white beard, tall wizard's hat, curling wooden staff and gold ring embedded with a bright red Ruby.

"I'll match it with another of its foul ilk, This!" Upon saying this, he withdrew from his garment a bag.

After an unusually long period of time gazing upon it, he threw it away from him with a violent gesture, whereupon it skidded to a halt on the table, revealing its contents: A Halflings hand upon whose finger rested a plain golden Ring, which shined softly.

"Delightful thing" Spake the next anthromorphic idea in line, a hideous thing born of man's wish for self punishment- Again it spoke: "I shall have use of these". "Take now, wager I this – the fifth of my Divine god hands, youngest of my angels, The hawk of light". And a man appeared, clad in shining white full plate armour, his features sharp yet beautiful like a hawks, and he was bound in weeping Cysts and shrieking souls.

Next spoke a being taller than a tower, Darker than the dark itself, shaped like a single tall column yet constantly shifting shape with flaming red eyes and outwards jutting spikes on it's head -

"Truly Delightful. I, The Shogun of Sorrow, the Despot of Despair, master of the pit of Eternal torment shall have use of yet another new slave to hunt down That Accursed Samurai!"

"Yes, yes we understand" Said a handsome red devil with a black Mephistophelian goatee and black Devil horn's shaped hair as he stood upon his cloven feet and fingered his rod. "I invented Tyranny and The Law of Evil before you even crawled out of the darkness between the stars, now, Get on with it!"

"BAH!" Said The Dark Lord, the shape shifting Wizard Shogun of sorrow, "Bah!" (he even momentarily shifted into a dragon of darkest night in his rage), "I shall RAISE The Stakes. I promise- A rain of precious stones, sufficient to cover a planet to the height of a man, the water of a hundred water planets, and a priceless unbreakable powerful God-sword made out of the Purity (Pfah!) and goodness (He spat a ball of fire at saying this) of the Human spirit (This he said in a sneering mocking tone), it's currently being held by a servant of mine a Samurai (This he said with a diabolical grin that threatened to turn into a mobius loop)".

"Well" (Said the Devil) "I suppose that I have no free will in the choice, other than to raise the wager with the treasure of my resident Dragon god (Of the many colours and none), a greater treasure than the mineral wealth of a dozen worlds, and the services of 666,666 of my elite Baatorian pit fiends for 667 years" Said he with a yawn whilst pushing forth a contract with the promise (To all of the above, excepting various loopholes) written in flaming blood.

"I'll match that" (Said the Wizard-king next in line) "With a spell of my own devising – It allows the stealing of power, rank and function from any divine or magical being of choice within the radius of a single dimensional crystal sphere (Though it shall only work on beings below the power of a greater god or trans-dimensional constant)".

"And" (Said his white bearded partner whilst blowing from his ornate pipe a ring of silver fire) "I'll add 2 of the lost Nether scrolls & the secret of spell fire and a Tran dimensional hide-away, Air-conditioning unit included. Now, what about you Lass?"

The Bladed entity next in line, with it's mask resembling a woman's face said naught, but an endless series of doors leading to all places and none seemed to appear, wink out of existence then coalesce into a single spot at once.

"Most impressive" (Cackled the old shriveled man in his dark cloak beneath the shadows covering his face) "I shall match this with a cheap effective technological transport system, and my newest planet destroying battle-ship "The Fist of the Empire" – Eclipse class".

To be reserved for the no-god once I get a better and 100 accurate description

The next being in line, a robot with a silver face of polished steel and constantly changing expressions emoted next.

"I and my omni-present master offer a self replicating series of Von Neumann based probes, each capable of using even rocks as material for any purpose from back-ups of all data to your personality to rebuilding a shattered galactic empire. Each comes equipped at base with a FTL grade hyper drive and a shield buster Oscillation technology (Though not useful against holtzmann type shields) as well as personal defenses and a basic computer personality.

Another Devil spoke then, gold haired, human shaped (Though lacking genitalia) and with great wings this time- "I raise with a Creation, not a mere multiverse or pocket universe, but an independent creation (My creation in fact), as well as my assistance in shaping it and shepherding it's infant suns. And a private piano recital conducted by myself at my old nightclub".

"Well" Said the last player in game, an old man with muscles like drooping, shriveled coconuts, more scars and wrinkles than could be counted and shining diamond teeth.

"I suppose I'll have to put this up – A Sentient Box containing nothing less than The Octavo, with all it's 8 spells. As a bonus it also has the Necrotelecomnicon, A daft "Wizzard", The Lady's Dice, the helm of the God of rotten fish as well as a winged horse I stole of a Valkryie".

The box in question promptly sprouted legs and began to walk away.

"Well, is that it" Said He, "I haven't got 30,000 years to waste here. So is everyone ready? Good.

Now- What game shall we play?"

-Not the End


End file.
